18 June 2018

Cruise Tour





Min Hee: "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome back to another year of Jetset. We're close to the start of the new season, and you all know what comes before the kick-off..."




Min Hee: "Yup, we go and show you the brand new features of the Jetsetter. Coming up first..."




Min Hee: "Is our brand new library. It might look a little familiar..."




Odessa: "But it's certainly not the same old library from last season."
Min Hee: "Indeed."




Odessa: "We've added a whole frickin' new floor underneath the whole thing! (please don't ask us how it works). The new library is part of it, but there's more, like this statue."




Odessa: "Both exits lead to the same space, all leading to the same direction."




Min Hee: "And at this point the Jetsetters have access to a couple of new rooms to take it easy, take it with the vigor of fanatism, or to take a leak."
Odessa: "... That pun was just crap."



Min Hee: ".. Look who's punning now, young lady."
Odessa: ".... Fuck me. Completely unintended pun, please ignore..."




Odessa: "... What's NOT to ignore though, is this newly built bathroom, inspired by the style of the same two lavatories up on the deck level."




Odessa: "We have both toilet stalls and two bath tubs here, plus some nice random trinkets to spice up the place a bit."




Odessa: "The pink stuff is for the ladies..."




Odessa: "... the blue parts for the dudes..."




Odessa: "... and those who don't identify as a binary gender can go wherever the hell they want to do their business. Up next..."




Odessa: "It's the Billiard Room! Despite the colourful and happy interior, is this room one of heated concentration and competition."




Odessa: "Or you can try to take a friendlier approach and show off your greatest trick shots."




Odessa: "Here goes..."




*Odessa grabs a cue*

Odessa: "Concentrate Odessa..."




Odessa: "Deep focus......"

*Odessa hits the white ball*




*The white ball flies through the air...*




*... and falls on the ground*

Odessa: "Hrrrrmph!"




*Odessa hits the 7-ball...*




*... which follows the same traject as the white ball...*

Odessa: "And?.. how did it go?"




*Odessa sees the ball rolling on the floor*

Odessa: "Oh, FORGET IT!"

*Odessa throws the cue on the floor*




Odessa: "At least those balls can automatically rearrange with the latest technolo--- ugh, nevermind. To Min Hee!"




Min Hee: "Please give a warm welcome to... The Conservatory!"




Min Hee: "Lots and lots of plants, flowers and other greenery for that extra bit of oxygen when you're in the middle of the sea."




Min Hee: "And what better way of adding a finishing touch, than with adding a calm fountain? A perfect place to find some inner peace."




Min Hee: "But enough of that for now. Time to get going."




Odessa: "Ready to test the new elevators?"
Min Hee: "... Hopefully? The ride down wasn't that good though.."
Odessa: "C'mon, don't be such a guppy."
Min Hee: ".. Well, practise makes perfect, I guess.."




Odessa: "After accidentally cramming 10 people in 1 elevator we realised that we needed to do something much more streamlined for this season with 20 frickin' players. So allow us to introduce to you..."




Min Hee: "Our anti-gravity elevaaaaa!--"




Odessa: "OH my god, not again....."




Odessa: "... Meh, these elevators can quickly zip you from one floor to the next. Just be careful not to overspeed or lose your balance. Min Hee's currently demonstrating what will happen then."




Min Hee: "Aaaaaaaah!"




*Min Hee "BONK!"s her head on the ceiling of the elevator tube*

Min Hee: "AICH!!!"




Min Hee: "Whoa!!"




Min Hee: "Bwoaaahhh....."




Min Hee: "Arrrrhhmmph..."




Min Hee: ".... Ladies.. and gentlemen... that's how not to use these.. elevators."




Odessa: "Am I ready to go? Yup, time to visit the next changed room."




Odessa: "And for the next change we're going to revisit..."




Odessa: "The club. Most's still the same as last season, but..."




Odessa: "WE NOW GOT A FUNKY DJ BOOTH BOOYEAH!!"




Odessa: "Which reminds me of this dream I had last night... We were on this new boat, the 'Jetsetterette' (mouthful, I know) and Min Hee and I were doing this tour and, well, we both looked kinda different stylistically for some reason..."




Odessa: "Anyways, there was also this DJ table.. though this one's definitely the cooler one. And I started to play a little with it... and then I became..."




Odessa: "Dezztronica! Pretty cool huh? Just hear it out loud: HEY Y'ALL, DEZZTRONICA'S IN THE HOUSE! YOU WANNA PARTY?!?!?!"

*Odessa starts playing the DJ table*




Min Hee: "Oh dear, she's at it again..."




Odessa: "Shoop shoop!"

*Odessa remixes two plates for an extra beat*

Odessa: "Nailed it! I'm much better at this than I could dream, haha.. Sorry, bad pun, but a good bad pun, bwahaha. At least it's not toilet humour."




Min Hee: "I'd pretend to be an angry neighbor... but we're midsea, so we haven't any at the moment."

*Min Hee sends a text. And another one. And several more*




Odessa: "- Oi, 'scuse me, gotta go."




Odessa: "Oh, right. Of course the tour must go on."

*A few more of Min Hee's texts arrive*




Odessa: "Oh my god, Min Hee, quit texting me already!"

*A bucketload of texts arrive*

Odessa: "Okay, we may be rich enough to afford all these text bills, but that doesn't mean you're free to spam me."




Min Hee: "Now that Odessa has finished her business, it's time for me to show the next redone room."




Min Hee: "Which happens to be the former library. Please get ready for..."




Min Hee: "The karaoke lounge! An open central hub with different things to do, so the Jetsetters, especially the extraverted ones, can gather and just enjoy their time. (sucks that I'm more of an introvert)."




Min Hee: "First we gotta show the espresso bar. Besides the obvious espresso machine there's also a flatscreen tv so that our Jetsetters can cheer on together for their favourite shows, and another chocolate fountain, so they can share dips together. I'm just hoping that nobody pulls off an Edmund and drinks straight from the fountain. That was just gross."




Min Hee: "In the corner over here, we have a gaming corner. We got several arcades and even a football table so our Jetsetters can enjoy a friendly gaming competition. And then we have the centerpiece of the room..."




Min Hee: "The karaoke podium! Here everyone can join together and sing at the top of their lungs out, or else they can take a seat and enjoy the sound. Better cast a couple of good singers this season. And hope they'll last in the game for at least a while."




Min Hee: "The whole sing-thing is namely, to uncover a tip of the iceberg, also part of a twist next season. More about that later. But first, we'll switch to the next room which got a make-over."




Captain Dockhatt: "Hi there mateys... Argh, I'm so bad at this."




Captain Dockhatt: "Another redone part of the boat is me own cabin here. Subtle, but different."




Captain Dockhatt: "'scept that scurfy bed there. Haven't even spent one night since it's built here and me got stuck underneath that blasted rat already."




Captain Dockhatt: "Enugh wasting here, time to look for them lasses up there."




*Captain Dockhatt opens up the panel to the deck*




Captain Dockhatt: "Hrrmph."
Min Hee: "Just in time."
Captain Dockhatt: "Yer here already. Good."




Odessa: "Hey, look out for the-"

*Captain Dockhatt "Bonk"s his head to the camera*




Captain Dockhatt: "One billion lightning bombs!"




*A faint splash sound emerges from the sea*

Odessa: "Great. Bad news for the environment."
Captain Dockhatt: "Ergh. Poor fishies."
Odessa: "Do you think they'd like being on reality tv?"
Min Hee: "I don't speak fish, alas. Time to visit the last room, right?"
Lenka: "Yip!"




Odessa: "And the last changed room... is the dining area"




Captain Dockhatt: "More space to accomodate more Jetsetters."
Odessa: "And all that space will be needed for sure."




Odessa: "So. There you have it. This was the Cruise Tour special of the newest Season of Jetset."
Min Hee: "We'll be back soon, and then we'll have 20 new Jetsetters who'll make allies, rivals, lie to, manipulate, trust, betray, search for, and find with eachother, all to figure out who the new Assassin hiding and playing among them is."
Odessa: "But not just any 20 Jetsetters.. This season, each person will have one fellow player they know very, very well... A soulmate they've been connected with since birth."
Min Hee: "Stay tuned and we hope you'll be watching!"
Lenka: "Yip yip!"