Previously on
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After the show got itself properly working cameras again, an interesting development occured in the ranks of the female cliques...
Diane: "-Obviously-"
Salma: "-So I have this great idea: let's form a women's alliance and try for an all-female finale!"
Diane: "I'll go along with the deal."
Salma: "Hmm, well then, We have a deal. Let's start at once!"
Connie: "Where will we meet?"
Salma: "If you're thinking about the kitchen, I'll have to stop you there. I can cook some basics, but I'm no cuisine wizard."
Salma: "Has Diane told you about the Clue already?"
Connie: "Err, no, she hasn't told me yet. She went to the kitchen directly after the Challenge and I haven't seen her since."
Salma: "Interesting. I think she should share it with us eventually, we're in an alliance after all now."
Connie: "Are you sure?"
Salma: "Connie, are you the Assassin?"
Connie: "W- wha?"
Salma: "Are you the Assassin?"
Connie: ".. No.."
Salma: "... Thank you."
Hector: "One thing I do know now: someone did call the police. Now my questions are who would do it, why would they do that and how did they know?
Connie: "Where will we meet?"
Salma: "If you're thinking about the kitchen, I'll have to stop you there. I can cook some basics, but I'm no cuisine wizard."
... followed by more interesring developments among the female cliques...
Connie: "Err, no, she hasn't told me yet. She went to the kitchen directly after the Challenge and I haven't seen her since."
Salma: "Interesting. I think she should share it with us eventually, we're in an alliance after all now."
Connie: "Are you sure?"
Connie: "Err, any other alliances you have?"
Salma: "Well.. I've had a few."
Connie: "Really?"
Salma: "Yeah.. er, I exchanged my thoughts with.. Blane, and Olive for example. How about you?"
Connie: "W- wha?"
Salma: "Are you the Assassin?"
Connie: ".. No.."
Salma: "... Thank you."
... while Hector, on the other hand, was more bothered by the thought of who has tried to have him arrested for his past...
Hector: "No.. My mind's a beehive atm, too much buzzing through.."
HEALTH-E: "That is quite obnoxious to hear. Shall I call for an exterminator to get rid of the bees?"Hector: "Err, heha, no.. I just need some time to.. think about stuff.."
Odessa: "I- I killed Janett Dean a year ago."
Hector: ".. I'm perplexed."
Odessa: "Let me clarify it."
Odessa: "Janett asked me to kill her. Diana framed her and everyone believed her to be guilty."
*Odessa attempts to hug Hector*
Hector: "Ho, wait it-"
*Odessa ignores Hector's protests and holds him in her embrace.*
Hector: "..."
Odessa: "You really need it.."
*Hector awkwardly stands idly. He slowly gets more comfortable with the situation and reciprocates the hug.*
Odessa: "You'll be told more about the rules at our location: the Appaloosa Plains Animal Shelt-"
Min Hee: "Houston, we have a problem."
Odessa: "Odessa here, not Houston."
Min Hee: "... The shelter called. They cancelled out."
Connie: "I.. I'll bid 3 coins."
Odessa: "Great! 3 has been bid."
Diane: "I raise to 4."
Connie: "I'm passing too. I used a -5."
Diane: "Typical. I can't afford it."
Odessa: "Well, so that wraps the auctioning up. Diane's card is a -8, leaving HEALTH-E to buy a total of 9 points for 18 coins."
Min Hee: "Time to reveal the final results."
Min Hee: "Let's add it all up: 0 + 5 + 17 + 23 + 36 = a whopping 81 coins, equalling a whopping $81,000 for the Jetsetter's stash! $39,000 goes to the Assassin's."
Odessa: "NOW, there's only one question left to be answered. Who out of you will earn a Clue to the Assassin's identity? I can hereby reveal that that person is..."
Min Hee: "DIANE!! Congratulations, you will receive a call from us sometime later today. Buying a set of 16 and a set of 26 earned you a whopping 42 points, the crowning amount of points in the Challenge."
Odessa: "This leaves Connie to be in second place, earning 24 points by buying a hand of 11 and a hand of 13."
Salma: "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure if I would've wanted that clue. I feel like having a hint at the Assassin's identity like that might really make me a target."
HEALTH-E: "So, me and Salma were talking about The Mole. Salma stated her favorite character was Darleen but after the whole entire event where she was shot by Throvan's arrow, she misses 'Darleen's laughable obsession with something as ridiculous as Twilight'."
HEALTH-E: "Oh, I am sorry that I nearly gave you spoilers."
Salma: "It's okay, it can happen."
HEALTH-E: "..."
Salma: "..."
HEALTH-E: "I know of a way to help you overcome your missing of Darleen."
Salma: "Really? Tell me! Tell me!"
HEALTH-E: "To help out patients who need some kind of psychological support, I was updated a few weeks ago with the ability to generate 'alter egos' of people."
Salma: "Oh, really? I don't need any psychological support or anything though."
HEALTH-E: "If you would like it, I could generate Darleen for you."
Salma: "Ooh, really?"
HEALTH-E: "Remember when she was brought away for heart surgery? I was the main assistant for the operation."
Salma: "Oh my God! Then do it! Yes!"
HEALTH-E: "Code69431_Activate... Alter_Ego_no.9.537.472: Darleen_Simpson."
Salma: "Thisisgoingtobesoawesome..."
*HEALTH-E's voice changes to a low feminine one. Despite the humanoid tone he now uses, the accent still sounds like HEALTH-E's monotonous robo-babble instead of Darleen's pitch.*
"Darleen": "Hey folks! My name is Darleen!"
Salma: "It works!"
"Darleen": "What works? You are not my Edward if th-"
Salma: "NOnonono, it's fine, I'm taken."
"Darleen": "Okay. I wonder if there are any Edwards out there then."
Salma: (thinking) Wait a sec this could get really funny. "Go for it then!" >:D
"Darleen": "Edward here I come!"
"Darleen": "Yoohoo!"
Salma: "Oh, this is gonna be sweet.." :D
*Diane admires the painting*
Diane: "Lovely and refined. That's what I like."
Connie: "Diane?"
Diane: "Oh, yes, my dear?"
Connie: "There's something we need to.. discuss."
Diane: "What is it then?"
Connie: "Eh.. did you plan to share the Clue with Salma and me?"
Diane: "The Clue from yesterday?"
Connie: "Yes, that one."
Diane: "Hmm..."
Diane: "I would very likely not share it with Salma. Why would you wonder?"
Connie: ".. Well, you see.... Salma approached me yesterday, while you were reading."
Diane: "Interesting..."
Diane: ".. because I don't fully trust her."
Connie: "... She might be the Assassin."
Diane: "That, or she might be after our notes and thoughts. We ought to be careful."
Connie: "She might be both too."
Diane: "That's true as well.. Although I'm ruling her out a little bit now."
Connie: "How come?"
Diane: "Recent happenings."
Connie: "The Clue?"
Diane: "Possibly. She's also incredibly fanatical though."
Connie: "And she gives me that sly vibe. Like, she kept asking me questions yesterday."
Diane: "About the Clue?"
Connie: "Yes. She kept pushing that.. 'you should share it because that's what alliances do' et cetera. She even asked me straightly if I am the Assassin."
Diane: "Typical."
Connie: "I've been thinking overnight and I believe she's just trying to suck out our information."
Diane: "I agree with you on that."
Connie: "Oh!"
*Salma barges into the Art Gallery*
Salma: "Hey, this is going to be awesome!"
Diane: "What's happening?!"
Salma: "Something great."
Connie: "What is it?"
Salma: "It's HEALTH-E. He's acting like Darleen Simpson."
Diane: "Darleen who?"
Salma: "The Mole, anyone?"
Connie: "I remember seeing some episodes here and there."
Diane: "Oh, wait. Her. Not a fan of her attitude myself here, so no."
Salma: "Oh. Well, it's your loss. Connie?"
Connie: "... Maybe I'll see a little later."
Salma: "BTW, before I go back, we might want to talk a bit about our Ranking strategy..."
Diane: "Eh yes we should..."
Salma: "Any new useful leads to share, anyone?"
*Diane avoids Salma's gaze a bit*
Salma: "Diane, you had that Clue, right?"
Diane: "Yes. I have that Clue, my dear."
Salma: "If you share it we can figure it's meaning out together now."
Diane: "Well..."
Diane: "I've not set my mind yet on sharing it, my dear."
Salma: "What? But why? We're in an alliance."
Diane: "I'm just considering the pros and cons of it...-"
Salma: "I can definitely see more pros than cons."
Diane: "-... and one con growing more and more to me is..."
Diane: "... your blatant eagerness. It's ringing my bells a bit."
Salma: "That's interesting."
Diane: "You're getting interesting, my dear."
Salma: "Let me give you some advice: if you keep the Clue for yourself..."
Salma: "... then you can assume that the Assassin got their arrows aimed at you."
Diane: "That's it?"
Salma: "If you share it, then you're lifting off your target."
Diane: "And what if the Assassin isn't aware of me sharing the Clue?"
Salma: "Ehr..."
Salma: "Rumours go around fast everywhere, don't you know?"
Salma: "You can agree with me on that, right Connie?"
Lenka: "Yip yip!"
Diane: "Wait.. since when did she leave?"
Salma: "No, why would she?"
Lenka: "Yip?"
Diane: "Not so typical..."
Salma: "I guess I'll be off then."
Diane: "Typical, my dear."
Lenka: "Yip yip!"
*Connie sighs a little. She's got a lot on her mind, especially after Diane and Salma's argument.*
Hector: "Now, are you alright, sir?"
"Darleen": "Aha, you are trying to make a hard to catch-impression, stud. I want to go all along with that..."
Hector: "..."
"Darleen": "Just to let you know: you do not have to hide your long, sexy, wild locks for me. Darleen is very good in caressing them, darling."
Hector: "... Er-"
"Darleen": "No, you do not have to tell me anything. I know exactly what you are thinking..."
"Darleen": "... deep inside of you, you desire to be my 'Edward'."
Hector: "HEALTH-E STOP IT!"
"Darleen": "Sssht, calm down, darling, I can see in you bright, beautiful baby blues that you really want me as your Bella tonight."
Hector: "Åh Gud, why me out of all people?"
"Darleen": "Because all your body signals are giving away your desire to be by my side."
Hector: ".. Then you better look again. I am not your Edward."
"Darleen": "Then you must be my 'Jacob'!"
Hector: "Ugh. Forget it!"
*Hector runs away*
"Darleen": "Jacob, wait!"
"Darleen": "Stay with me!"
*HEALTH-E can't keep up with Hector's pace*
"Darleen": "Nooo!"
*HEALTH-E sighs sadly*
Diane: "Diane is offended that while she will always provide reasoning behind her rankings, these foolish peasants (hey, that's you, hosties) believe they must evil cackle at her. She is most offended, and yes, I am currently using the third person to express my rage. PS. I chose these people due to the clue I received from my previous win. Wo- goodbye, I must shut my face now."
"Darleen": "Hello there.."
Salma: "Oh hello Darleen. How're you doing?"
"Darleen": "Well, I have not yet found any luck yet with my Edward."
Salma: "Ooh, yikes. Don't give up, Cupid's arrow might strike your heart soon enough."
"Darleen": "What?!"
"Darleen": "Why would you wish me that to happen to me again?!"
Salma: "Oh no.. That's just an expression. You might find your true love anytime soon."
"Darleen": "..."
Salma: "Really.. you wait and see."
"Darleen": "You are right. I have motivated lots of long lost Bellas to find their love. If I can help others, then I can definitely help myself!"
Salma: "That's the spirit!"
"Darleen": "But where should I look next?"
Salma: ".. Let's play some I spy with my little eye, who knows new candidates might pop up."
"Darleen": "How can I spy with my little eye when both are the same size?"
Salma: ".. It's a standard phrase. Just say it and then add an adjective of an object you want me to guess."
"Darleen": "I think I get that, darling. I spy with my little eye... wet."
Salma: "Something wet? Lemme guess.. the pool?"
"Darleen": "Nope. My pussy when I imagine my Edward is the correct answer."
Salma: "................................................................................................................................................."
Salma: "................................................. Well, my turn: I spy with my little eye... something... leavy."
"Darleen": "The tree?"
Salma: "You got the hang of it! Good."
Salma: "Time to grab some popcorn."
*Salma mimics eating a hand full out of a bucket*
"Darleen": "HEY DARLING!!"
Captain Dockhatt: "Whuzza?"
"Darleen": "Heeey, someone is looking very strong and handsome today."
Captain Dockhatt: "... Ye'r okay landlubber?"
"Darleen": "YOU are okay there, hunk."
Captain Dockhatt: "... Fan-lightning bombs-tastic..."
"Darleen": "Ooh, let me see your hands. They are perfect for my Jacob... You are my Jacob!"
*Captain Dockhatt pushes away HEALTH-E's hands*
Captain Dockhatt: "Me name's Leonnard, not Jacob, matey."
"Darleen": "You called me my mate... This must be real love!"
Captain Dockhatt: "I ain't your mate. What's the Jacob-business all 'bout anyways?"
"Darleen": "It is just like Twilight, darling."
Captain Dockhatt: "... Keelhaul me. Now."
"Darleen": "Of course not, my hottie werewolfie polfie."
Captain Dockhatt: "Eh, Twilight's no my thing, landlubber."
"Darleen": "But.. Twilight is love! And life and-"
Captain Dockhatt: "No. Just no."
"Darleen": "But you are my Jacob!"
Captain Dockhatt: "LOOK THERE! WEREWOLF FOR YOU!"
Odessa: "Whoat?!"
"Darleen": "Ohlala!"
Odessa: "Nope!"
"Darleen": "Oh my.. no.."
*DONK! Captain Dockhatt retreated to his quarters*
"Darleen": "My Jacobs..."
Odessa: "Enough wolfing around for the day. HEALTH-E, I dunno what happened, but you better stop behaving like that. It's creepy and slightly perverted."
"Darleen": "I am sorry. I will change back now."
"Darleen": "Code69431_Unactivate"
*A 'krrzzt' is heard*
"Darleen": "ERROR: DATA GLITCH."
"Darleen": "Code69431_Unactivate"
Odessa: "Seriously, what is that alter ego stuff again?"
"Darleen": "I am a Twilight Fan Club leader, not a tech nerd."
Salma: "He activated a persona of Darleen Simpson or something. He thinks he's her."
Odessa: "Well then, if you could try and deactivate him, that'd be nice."
Salma: "I'm not sure if I am capable of-"
Odessa: "I'll come down in a minute."
Salma: "Thanks, I guess."
"Darleen": "Code69431_Unactivate"
*A 'krrzzt' is heard*
"Darleen": "ERROR: DATA GLITCH."
Salma: "Okay, let me try to reset you.."
Salma: "Hmmm..."
*Salma prods a bit around*
HEALTH-E: "I am HEALT-"
"Darleen": "DATA-- GLITCH-Krrzt."
Salma: "Hmm... I think I got something.."
*Salma grabs the handle and tries some ways to pull it a little*
Odessa: "Okay, what can I-"
Salma: "K'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"
Odessa: "EEEK!"
Salma: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Odessa: "Oh my GOD HEEELP!!"
Odessa: "Oh shit oh shit oh shit..."
Odessa: "What do I do what do I do..."
*Odessa nervously gasps for a few moments, taking in the perilous situation*
Odessa: "GUYS I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW!!!!! ANYONE HEAR ME?!?!?!?!"
Odessa: "Please... please talk to me Salma.."
Diane: "... I- I'm shocked.."
Hector: "No, Diane.. Just no..."
Diane: "... I never..- sorry.."
Min Hee: "What happened?"
Odessa: "Please- er, Salma got.. shocked by HEALTH-E..."
Min Hee: "Eep!... how's she doing?"
Odessa: ".. Her pulse is weak.."
Min Hee: "Oh dear..."
Min Hee: "Anyone here with a medical degree?!"
Hector: "Not me.."
Diane: "Me neither..."
Hector: "Wait, HEALTH-E has!"
Min Hee: "Of course!"
Hector: "Quick, help me pull him away from the water!"
Connie: "..."
Odessa: "Salma, don't go!"
Connie: "... Please..."
Odessa: "Her pulse is weakening..."
Connie: "No..."
Odessa: "Guys, hurry up!"
Captain Dockhatt: "On the count o' 3."
Hector: "Be careful, he might be heavy."
Diane: "I did this before on my own."
Min Hee: "3, 2, 1, PULL!"
*HEALTH-E is pulled away from the poolside*
HEALTH-E: "Ah, thank you for moving me away from the water. I'm programmed to automatically shut down when I get too close to it."
Pullers: "Yes!"
Odessa: "Her pulse is gone!"
Connie: "..."
*Connie starts sobbing*
HEALTH-E: "I need you all to stand back at once! I'm going to defibrillate her."
*HEALTH-E rips away Salma's bikini top*
HEALTH-E: "Activate emergency-defibrillator!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "That was 6. This is my final chance... FIRE!!!!!"
Salma: "AAAH!!!"
Connie: "!"
Diane: "Oh my."
Hector: "Thank goodness!"
Odessa: "Phew.."
Salma: "Guys-"
HEALTH-E: "You almost electrocuted yourself."
Salma: "Kgg, I k- I know.. Everything hurts.. so much.."
HEALTH-E: "I'll take care of you."
*HEALTH-E picks up Salma and puts her on her feet*
Salma: "Aargh, be careful please.."
HEALTH-E: "I'll do my best."
*HEALTH-E guides Salma inside*
Diane: "Poor girl.."
Hector: "Well, I believe in her and HEALTH-E."
Captain Dockhatt: "That's how me likes it, matey."
Odessa: "Ugh.."
Min Hee: "What's wrong?"
Odessa: "A lot.."
Min Hee: "Odessa?"
Odessa: "..."
*Odessa dumps herself on the couch*
Diane: "..."
Odessa: "It happened all in front of me..."
*Odessa starts to sob*
*Min Hee rubs Odessa's arm while she transforms*
Min Hee: ".. Jetsetters, please go inside now.. Captain Dockhatt will finish the day off with you."
Diane: ".. Hmph."
Captain Dockhatt: "Landlubbers..."
Captain Dockhatt: "After ye had one heck of a day 'llready, ye'd think ye'd get sum rest, eh?"
Captain Dockhatt: "Wrong! Ye had a Ranking earlier today, mateys. And ye know what comes after."
Captain Dockhatt: "One of ye'll ain't gonna make it past today, thousand lightning bombs! Yaharrr!!"
Captain Dockhatt: "But who will it be? Hector? . . Diane? . . . Connie? . . Salma? . . HEALTH-E? . ."
Captain Dockhatt: "While you landlubbers were lummering 'round, Min Hee was nice enuff to tell me who o' you mateys was chosen by the Assassin to be keelhauled... Figuratively speaking. An' now it's my turn to tell ye landlubbers the same. . . Alas. . . Ye ready? . . . Well. . . Yer Eliminated......"
Captain Dockhatt: "... Salma Guerrero."
Salma: "What?!"
Salma: "This is bologna!
Captain Dockhatt: "Say yer farewells, landlubber."
Salma: "But.. I'm the Assassin!"
Other Jetsetters: "WHAT?!"
Salma: "I can't be Eliminated!"
Captain Dockhatt: "Ye'd think me'd fall for that, huh? Nice try, matey."
Salma: "But..."
Captain Dockhatt: "Me knows who is the Assassin. And they ain't named Salma Guerrero."
*Salma sighs, a bit painfully*
Salma: "Ugh, I guess it was worth trying?.."
Captain Dockhatt: "Time to go home, matey."
Salma: "Kgg, bye guys!"
Jetsetters: "Bye Salma!"
Salma: "Kick ass!"
Diane: "Ahum."
Salma: "Yo! Urrh."
Captain Dockhatt: "Well, how'dya feel?"
Salma: "Can I be very honest?"
Captain Dockhatt: "Yup."
Salma: "Pissed!"
Salma: "I was doing so well and I was picturing myself in the finale already and then suddenly they decide to pull me out and away! It's bologna, I really wanted to win this thing!"
Captain Dockhatt: "Yer a very ambitious kid, ain't ya."
Salma: "Ugh. Maybe I should've tried to steal that Clue instead."
Captain Dockhatt: "Whatever it was, ye better go and take it easy at home."
Salma: "Tell me about it. Time to go?"
Captain Dockhatt: ".. Yup, there yer Ferrari is."
Captain Dockhatt: "8th keelhauled: Salma Guerrero."
... It wasn't Odessa, who instead confessed a deed of her own past instead to try and support him...
Hector: ".. I'm perplexed."
Odessa: "Let me clarify it."
Odessa: "Janett asked me to kill her. Diana framed her and everyone believed her to be guilty."
Hector: "Ho, wait it-"
*Odessa ignores Hector's protests and holds him in her embrace.*
Hector: "..."
Odessa: "You really need it.."
*Hector awkwardly stands idly. He slowly gets more comfortable with the situation and reciprocates the hug.*
After some.. ahem.. bureaucratic struggles, the new Challenge took place: Jetsetters had to bid coins on mystery hands filled by their own bets.
Min Hee: "Houston, we have a problem."
Odessa: "Odessa here, not Houston."
Min Hee: "... The shelter called. They cancelled out."
Odessa: "Wait, what?"
Min Hee: " We can't go to the animal shelter for the Challenge."
Min Hee: "Well.. I know, it's not much, but at least the weather is sunny up here."
Min Hee: " We can't go to the animal shelter for the Challenge."
Vul: "Duh, why add horrid weather to the mix if it can be sunny 24/7 without paying for another expansion pack?"
Min Hee: "... Ahem, sooo, what we'll do now..."
Odessa: "Start the game already, I guess?"
Min Hee: "... Yes, I think so."
Odessa: "Start the game already, I guess?"
Min Hee: "... Yes, I think so."
Odessa: "Great! 3 has been bid."
Diane: "I raise to 4."
Hector: ".. Let them have the first one, I'm passing."
Min Hee: "Okay, there goes."
Min Hee: "Okay, with that HEALTH-E's card is a... Bunny"
HEALTH-E: "Pass."
Salma: "My card is a +8, but I'd like to pass that as well."
Connie: "Errr... does that leave.. me? I have to buy now?.."
Min Hee: "Okay, there goes."
HEALTH-E: "Pass."
Salma: "My card is a +8, but I'd like to pass that as well."
Connie: "Errr... does that leave.. me? I have to buy now?.."
After a game of outwitting your rivals, the Jetsetters won themselves a stash of Simoleons, in a valuable attempt to catch up with the Assassin, and someone won themselves an exclusive Clue to their identity.
Diane: "Typical. I can't afford it."
Odessa: "Well, so that wraps the auctioning up. Diane's card is a -8, leaving HEALTH-E to buy a total of 9 points for 18 coins."
Min Hee: "Time to reveal the final results."
Min Hee: "Let's add it all up: 0 + 5 + 17 + 23 + 36 = a whopping 81 coins, equalling a whopping $81,000 for the Jetsetter's stash! $39,000 goes to the Assassin's."
Odessa: "NOW, there's only one question left to be answered. Who out of you will earn a Clue to the Assassin's identity? I can hereby reveal that that person is..."
Min Hee: "DIANE!! Congratulations, you will receive a call from us sometime later today. Buying a set of 16 and a set of 26 earned you a whopping 42 points, the crowning amount of points in the Challenge."
Odessa: "This leaves Connie to be in second place, earning 24 points by buying a hand of 11 and a hand of 13."
Min Hee: "Hereby this Challenge is over. Good luck and lots of wisdom."
Odessa: "You may go now."
Odessa: "You may go now."
With a valuable tool to the Finale in her hands, will Diane play her personal endgame wisely? Will the others be able to row along with her pace with the notes they've gathered through the past two weeks? And whose ship will sink tonight?
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20 DAYS, 12 PLAYERS, 1 CRUISE
THIS IS
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Diary Room
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Cat Room
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Salma: "... So sad, I really expected her to, you know, become runner-up or something. She looks like the type for it."
HEALTH-E: "Do not worry about Darleen, she is doing well. At the finale, after the Mole was revealed to be-"
Salma: "Stop it right there, Sir. I'm still at the point where they played mafia. Still catching up, you know."
HEALTH-E: "Oh, I am sorry that I nearly gave you spoilers."
Salma: "It's okay, it can happen."
HEALTH-E: "..."
Salma: "..."
HEALTH-E: "I know of a way to help you overcome your missing of Darleen."
Salma: "Really? Tell me! Tell me!"
HEALTH-E: "To help out patients who need some kind of psychological support, I was updated a few weeks ago with the ability to generate 'alter egos' of people."
Salma: "Oh, really? I don't need any psychological support or anything though."
HEALTH-E: "If you would like it, I could generate Darleen for you."
Salma: "Ooh, really?"
HEALTH-E: "Remember when she was brought away for heart surgery? I was the main assistant for the operation."
Salma: "Oh my God! Then do it! Yes!"
HEALTH-E: "Code69431_Activate... Alter_Ego_no.9.537.472: Darleen_Simpson."
Salma: "Thisisgoingtobesoawesome..."
*HEALTH-E's voice changes to a low feminine one. Despite the humanoid tone he now uses, the accent still sounds like HEALTH-E's monotonous robo-babble instead of Darleen's pitch.*
"Darleen": "Hey folks! My name is Darleen!"
Salma: "It works!"
"Darleen": "What works? You are not my Edward if th-"
Salma: "NOnonono, it's fine, I'm taken."
"Darleen": "Okay. I wonder if there are any Edwards out there then."
Salma: (thinking) Wait a sec this could get really funny. "Go for it then!" >:D
"Darleen": "Edward here I come!"
"Darleen": "Yoohoo!"
Salma: "Oh, this is gonna be sweet.." :D
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Art Gallery
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*Diane admires the painting*
Diane: "Lovely and refined. That's what I like."
Connie: "Diane?"
Diane: "Oh, yes, my dear?"
Connie: "There's something we need to.. discuss."
Diane: "What is it then?"
Connie: "Eh.. did you plan to share the Clue with Salma and me?"
Diane: "The Clue from yesterday?"
Connie: "Yes, that one."
Diane: "Hmm..."
Diane: "I would very likely not share it with Salma. Why would you wonder?"
Connie: ".. Well, you see.... Salma approached me yesterday, while you were reading."
Diane: "Interesting..."
Diane: ".. because I don't fully trust her."
Connie: "... She might be the Assassin."
Diane: "That, or she might be after our notes and thoughts. We ought to be careful."
Connie: "She might be both too."
Diane: "That's true as well.. Although I'm ruling her out a little bit now."
Connie: "How come?"
Diane: "Recent happenings."
Connie: "The Clue?"
Diane: "Possibly. She's also incredibly fanatical though."
Connie: "And she gives me that sly vibe. Like, she kept asking me questions yesterday."
Diane: "About the Clue?"
Connie: "Yes. She kept pushing that.. 'you should share it because that's what alliances do' et cetera. She even asked me straightly if I am the Assassin."
Diane: "Typical."
Connie: "I've been thinking overnight and I believe she's just trying to suck out our information."
Diane: "I agree with you on that."
Connie: "Oh!"
*Salma barges into the Art Gallery*
Salma: "Hey, this is going to be awesome!"
Diane: "What's happening?!"
Salma: "Something great."
Connie: "What is it?"
Salma: "It's HEALTH-E. He's acting like Darleen Simpson."
Diane: "Darleen who?"
Salma: "The Mole, anyone?"
Connie: "I remember seeing some episodes here and there."
Diane: "Oh, wait. Her. Not a fan of her attitude myself here, so no."
Salma: "Oh. Well, it's your loss. Connie?"
Connie: "... Maybe I'll see a little later."
Salma: "BTW, before I go back, we might want to talk a bit about our Ranking strategy..."
Diane: "Eh yes we should..."
Salma: "Any new useful leads to share, anyone?"
*Diane avoids Salma's gaze a bit*
Salma: "Diane, you had that Clue, right?"
Diane: "Yes. I have that Clue, my dear."
Salma: "If you share it we can figure it's meaning out together now."
Diane: "Well..."
Diane: "I've not set my mind yet on sharing it, my dear."
Salma: "What? But why? We're in an alliance."
Diane: "I'm just considering the pros and cons of it...-"
Salma: "I can definitely see more pros than cons."
Diane: "-... and one con growing more and more to me is..."
Diane: "... your blatant eagerness. It's ringing my bells a bit."
Salma: "That's interesting."
Diane: "You're getting interesting, my dear."
Salma: "Let me give you some advice: if you keep the Clue for yourself..."
Salma: "... then you can assume that the Assassin got their arrows aimed at you."
Diane: "That's it?"
Salma: "If you share it, then you're lifting off your target."
Diane: "And what if the Assassin isn't aware of me sharing the Clue?"
Salma: "Ehr..."
Salma: "Rumours go around fast everywhere, don't you know?"
Salma: "You can agree with me on that, right Connie?"
Lenka: "Yip yip!"
Diane: "Wait.. since when did she leave?"
Salma: "No, why would she?"
Lenka: "Yip?"
Diane: "Not so typical..."
Salma: "I guess I'll be off then."
Diane: "Typical, my dear."
Lenka: "Yip yip!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Side Deck
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*Connie sighs a little. She's got a lot on her mind, especially after Diane and Salma's argument.*
Hector: "Now, are you alright, sir?"
"Darleen": "Aha, you are trying to make a hard to catch-impression, stud. I want to go all along with that..."
Hector: "..."
"Darleen": "Just to let you know: you do not have to hide your long, sexy, wild locks for me. Darleen is very good in caressing them, darling."
Hector: "... Er-"
"Darleen": "No, you do not have to tell me anything. I know exactly what you are thinking..."
"Darleen": "... deep inside of you, you desire to be my 'Edward'."
Hector: "HEALTH-E STOP IT!"
"Darleen": "Sssht, calm down, darling, I can see in you bright, beautiful baby blues that you really want me as your Bella tonight."
Hector: "Åh Gud, why me out of all people?"
"Darleen": "Because all your body signals are giving away your desire to be by my side."
Hector: ".. Then you better look again. I am not your Edward."
"Darleen": "Then you must be my 'Jacob'!"
Hector: "Ugh. Forget it!"
*Hector runs away*
"Darleen": "Jacob, wait!"
"Darleen": "Stay with me!"
*HEALTH-E can't keep up with Hector's pace*
"Darleen": "Nooo!"
*HEALTH-E sighs sadly*
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Gym
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Min Hee & Odessa: "Hummmmmmmmmmmmm."
Min Hee: "And now... your sense..."
Min Hee & Odessa: "Hummmmmmmmmmmmm."
Odessa: "Bwoah?!"
*Odessa gets ripped out of her zen zone. She checks her phone.*
Odessa: "Oh, Ranking time. You coming with me?"
Min Hee: "No..."
Odessa: "No? How do you mean no?"
*Min Hee slowly and comfortably breaths in and out*
Min Hee: "Zennnnnn....."
Odessa: "Ugh.. I'll be off then."
Min Hee: "Hummmmmmmmmmmmm."
Min Hee: "And now... your sense..."
Min Hee & Odessa: "Hummmmmmmmmmmmm."
Odessa: "Bwoah?!"
*Odessa gets ripped out of her zen zone. She checks her phone.*
Odessa: "Oh, Ranking time. You coming with me?"
Min Hee: "No..."
Odessa: "No? How do you mean no?"
*Min Hee slowly and comfortably breaths in and out*
Min Hee: "Zennnnnn....."
Odessa: "Ugh.. I'll be off then."
Min Hee: "Hummmmmmmmmmmmm."
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Odessa: "Jetsetters, it is time for the Ranking! One by one I will call your names. When your name is called, you know what to do!"
"Darleen": "I ranked people based upon what is currently best for my game right now."
Salma: "My reasoning? I believe ____ when she says she is not the Assassin. That leaves these three. ____ and ____ are in no particular order, but ____ has been one of my suspects from the beginning. And they're still in the game."
"Darleen": "I ranked people based upon what is currently best for my game right now."
Salma: "My reasoning? I believe ____ when she says she is not the Assassin. That leaves these three. ____ and ____ are in no particular order, but ____ has been one of my suspects from the beginning. And they're still in the game."
Hector: "I always put Health-E as a main suspect, so just trying to mix it up."
Connie: "May I pick myself? I think I'm suspicious as well. Haha, kidding. These three are still in the game up to this date which means one of them might be the assassin. Hmm..."
Connie: "May I pick myself? I think I'm suspicious as well. Haha, kidding. These three are still in the game up to this date which means one of them might be the assassin. Hmm..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Front Deck
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"Darleen": "Hello there.."
Salma: "Oh hello Darleen. How're you doing?"
"Darleen": "Well, I have not yet found any luck yet with my Edward."
Salma: "Ooh, yikes. Don't give up, Cupid's arrow might strike your heart soon enough."
"Darleen": "What?!"
"Darleen": "Why would you wish me that to happen to me again?!"
Salma: "Oh no.. That's just an expression. You might find your true love anytime soon."
"Darleen": "..."
Salma: "Really.. you wait and see."
"Darleen": "You are right. I have motivated lots of long lost Bellas to find their love. If I can help others, then I can definitely help myself!"
Salma: "That's the spirit!"
"Darleen": "But where should I look next?"
Salma: ".. Let's play some I spy with my little eye, who knows new candidates might pop up."
"Darleen": "How can I spy with my little eye when both are the same size?"
Salma: ".. It's a standard phrase. Just say it and then add an adjective of an object you want me to guess."
"Darleen": "I think I get that, darling. I spy with my little eye... wet."
Salma: "Something wet? Lemme guess.. the pool?"
"Darleen": "Nope. My pussy when I imagine my Edward is the correct answer."
Salma: "................................................................................................................................................."
Salma: "................................................. Well, my turn: I spy with my little eye... something... leavy."
"Darleen": "The tree?"
Salma: "You got the hang of it! Good."
"Darleen": "Thank you. I spy with my little eye... My Edward!"
*HEALTH-E's groin area starts leaking oil*
*HEALTH-E's groin area starts leaking oil*
Salma: "Whoa?!"
"Darleen": "Give me a moment. I will be back soon."
Salma: "Haha, I told you that it would work."
Salma: "Time to grab some popcorn."
*Salma mimics eating a hand full out of a bucket*
"Darleen": "HEY DARLING!!"
Captain Dockhatt: "Whuzza?"
"Darleen": "Heeey, someone is looking very strong and handsome today."
Captain Dockhatt: "... Ye'r okay landlubber?"
"Darleen": "YOU are okay there, hunk."
Captain Dockhatt: "... Fan-lightning bombs-tastic..."
"Darleen": "Ooh, let me see your hands. They are perfect for my Jacob... You are my Jacob!"
*Captain Dockhatt pushes away HEALTH-E's hands*
Captain Dockhatt: "Me name's Leonnard, not Jacob, matey."
"Darleen": "You called me my mate... This must be real love!"
Captain Dockhatt: "I ain't your mate. What's the Jacob-business all 'bout anyways?"
"Darleen": "It is just like Twilight, darling."
Captain Dockhatt: "... Keelhaul me. Now."
"Darleen": "Of course not, my hottie werewolfie polfie."
Captain Dockhatt: "Eh, Twilight's no my thing, landlubber."
"Darleen": "But.. Twilight is love! And life and-"
Captain Dockhatt: "No. Just no."
"Darleen": "But you are my Jacob!"
Captain Dockhatt: "LOOK THERE! WEREWOLF FOR YOU!"
Odessa: "Whoat?!"
"Darleen": "Ohlala!"
Odessa: "Nope!"
"Darleen": "Oh my.. no.."
*DONK! Captain Dockhatt retreated to his quarters*
"Darleen": "My Jacobs..."
Odessa: "Enough wolfing around for the day. HEALTH-E, I dunno what happened, but you better stop behaving like that. It's creepy and slightly perverted."
"Darleen": "I am sorry. I will change back now."
"Darleen": "Code69431_Unactivate"
*A 'krrzzt' is heard*
"Darleen": "ERROR: DATA GLITCH."
"Darleen": "Code69431_Unactivate"
*A 'krrzzt' is heard*
"Darleen": "ERROR: DATA GLITCH."
Salma: "HEALTH-E, you okay?"
"Darleen": "... I have no idea what I am doing.."
"Darleen": "Code69431_Unactivate"
*A 'krrzzt' is heard*
"Darleen": "ERROR: DATA GLITCH."
"Darleen": "ERROR: DATA GLITCH."
Salma: "HEALTH-E, you okay?"
"Darleen": "... I have no idea what I am doing.."
Odessa: "Oh God."
Salma: "Just try and turn your alter ego off."
"Darleen": "Code69431_Unactivate"
*A 'krrzzt' is heard*
"Darleen": "ERROR: DATA GLITCH."
Odessa: "Seriously, what is that alter ego stuff again?"
"Darleen": "I am a Twilight Fan Club leader, not a tech nerd."
Salma: "He activated a persona of Darleen Simpson or something. He thinks he's her."
Odessa: "Well then, if you could try and deactivate him, that'd be nice."
Salma: "I'm not sure if I am capable of-"
Odessa: "I'll come down in a minute."
Salma: "Thanks, I guess."
"Darleen": "Code69431_Unactivate"
*A 'krrzzt' is heard*
"Darleen": "ERROR: DATA GLITCH."
Salma: "Okay, let me try to reset you.."
Salma: "Hmmm..."
*Salma prods a bit around*
HEALTH-E: "I am HEALT-"
"Darleen": "DATA-- GLITCH-Krrzt."
Salma: "Hmm... I think I got something.."
*Salma grabs the handle and tries some ways to pull it a little*
Odessa: "Okay, what can I-"
Salma: "K'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"
Odessa: "EEEK!"
Salma: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Odessa: "Oh shit oh shit oh shit..."
*Odessa nervously gasps for a few moments, taking in the perilous situation*
Odessa: "GUYS I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW!!!!! ANYONE HEAR ME?!?!?!?!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
1 minute later
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Odessa: "Please... please talk to me Salma.."
Diane: "... I- I'm shocked.."
Hector: "No, Diane.. Just no..."
Diane: "... I never..- sorry.."
Min Hee: "What happened?"
Min Hee: "Eep!... how's she doing?"
Odessa: ".. Her pulse is weak.."
Min Hee: "Oh dear..."
Min Hee: "Anyone here with a medical degree?!"
Hector: "Not me.."
Diane: "Me neither..."
Hector: "Wait, HEALTH-E has!"
Min Hee: "Of course!"
Hector: "Quick, help me pull him away from the water!"
Connie: "..."
Odessa: "Salma, don't go!"
Connie: "... Please..."
Odessa: "Her pulse is weakening..."
Connie: "No..."
Odessa: "Guys, hurry up!"
Captain Dockhatt: "On the count o' 3."
Hector: "Be careful, he might be heavy."
Diane: "I did this before on my own."
Min Hee: "3, 2, 1, PULL!"
*HEALTH-E is pulled away from the poolside*
HEALTH-E: "Ah, thank you for moving me away from the water. I'm programmed to automatically shut down when I get too close to it."
Pullers: "Yes!"
Odessa: "Her pulse is gone!"
Connie: "..."
*Connie starts sobbing*
HEALTH-E: "I need you all to stand back at once! I'm going to defibrillate her."
*HEALTH-E rips away Salma's bikini top*
HEALTH-E: "Activate emergency-defibrillator!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "FIRE!"
HEALTH-E: "That was 6. This is my final chance... FIRE!!!!!"
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Salma: "AAAH!!!"
Connie: "!"
Diane: "Oh my."
Hector: "Thank goodness!"
Odessa: "Phew.."
Salma: "Guys-"
HEALTH-E: "You almost electrocuted yourself."
Salma: "Kgg, I k- I know.. Everything hurts.. so much.."
HEALTH-E: "I'll take care of you."
*HEALTH-E picks up Salma and puts her on her feet*
Salma: "Aargh, be careful please.."
HEALTH-E: "I'll do my best."
*HEALTH-E guides Salma inside*
Diane: "Poor girl.."
Hector: "Well, I believe in her and HEALTH-E."
Captain Dockhatt: "That's how me likes it, matey."
Odessa: "Ugh.."
Min Hee: "What's wrong?"
Odessa: "A lot.."
Min Hee: "Odessa?"
Odessa: "..."
*Odessa dumps herself on the couch*
Diane: "..."
Odessa: "It happened all in front of me..."
*Odessa starts to sob*
*Min Hee rubs Odessa's arm while she transforms*
Min Hee: ".. Jetsetters, please go inside now.. Captain Dockhatt will finish the day off with you."
Diane: ".. Hmph."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Green Colonial Room
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Werewolf Room
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Rose Room
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Host Bedroom
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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
One Hour Later
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Captain Dockhatt: "Landlubbers..."
Captain Dockhatt: "After ye had one heck of a day 'llready, ye'd think ye'd get sum rest, eh?"
Captain Dockhatt: "Wrong! Ye had a Ranking earlier today, mateys. And ye know what comes after."
Captain Dockhatt: "One of ye'll ain't gonna make it past today, thousand lightning bombs! Yaharrr!!"
Captain Dockhatt: "While you landlubbers were lummering 'round, Min Hee was nice enuff to tell me who o' you mateys was chosen by the Assassin to be keelhauled... Figuratively speaking. An' now it's my turn to tell ye landlubbers the same. . . Alas. . . Ye ready? . . . Well. . . Yer Eliminated......"
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Captain Dockhatt: "... Salma Guerrero."
Salma: "What?!"
Salma: "This is bologna!
Captain Dockhatt: "Say yer farewells, landlubber."
Salma: "But.. I'm the Assassin!"
Other Jetsetters: "WHAT?!"
Salma: "I can't be Eliminated!"
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Captain Dockhatt: "Ye'd think me'd fall for that, huh? Nice try, matey."
Salma: "But..."
Captain Dockhatt: "Me knows who is the Assassin. And they ain't named Salma Guerrero."
*Salma sighs, a bit painfully*
Salma: "Ugh, I guess it was worth trying?.."
Captain Dockhatt: "Time to go home, matey."
Salma: "Kgg, bye guys!"
Jetsetters: "Bye Salma!"
Salma: "Kick ass!"
Diane: "Ahum."
Salma: "Yo! Urrh."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Side of the Road
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Captain Dockhatt: "Well, how'dya feel?"
Salma: "Can I be very honest?"
Captain Dockhatt: "Yup."
Salma: "Pissed!"
Salma: "I was doing so well and I was picturing myself in the finale already and then suddenly they decide to pull me out and away! It's bologna, I really wanted to win this thing!"
Captain Dockhatt: "Yer a very ambitious kid, ain't ya."
Salma: "Ugh. Maybe I should've tried to steal that Clue instead."
Captain Dockhatt: "Whatever it was, ye better go and take it easy at home."
Salma: "Tell me about it. Time to go?"
Captain Dockhatt: ".. Yup, there yer Ferrari is."
Captain Dockhatt: "8th keelhauled: Salma Guerrero."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
End of Episode 16
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*** CAKE, IF YOU READ THIS, PLEASE CONTACT ME ***
